हतो वा प्राप्स्यसि स्वर्गं जित्वा वा भोक्ष्यसे महीम् || (Bhagavad Gita 2.37)
If a soldier dies in a war, he/she will go to heaven, and if they win, they enjoy the appreciation and kingdom on earth, so there is nothing to lose.

This way, for soldiers fighting for their country, it’s very straightforward, but the main sufferers are the families who lost their dear ones and are left behind. 

For that reason, we always should try to pursue peace, until there is no further options left.

For example, Shri Ram sent Angad for a peace talk even though he had every reason to go for a war. Similarly, Krishna went for a peace talk before Kurukshetra war.

This way, seeking peace is not an indication of being coward or scared, rather an indication of being respectful towards human life. War must be started only when there is no avenue left for peace.

Similarly, we, as civilians, don’t face war situations in our daily life in literal term, but we go through situations where we can harm someone through words or by our actions. In those situation too, we should follow the above examples of pursuing all the avenues of peace until exhausted.